What is it about seeing the first flowers in spring that makes the world seem brighter? In the past few days everything has begun to wake up after the winter. The bulbs I planted in the fall are coming up, the hyacinths and wild violets are blooming, the birds and squirrels are happily foraging for treats in the new grass.
I see these things and feel physically lighter. It’s like I’ve been wearing a cloak of cold and dark, and suddenly it’s gone. Ahh, spring!
As cliché as it sounds, spring always makes me feel hopeful. The world seems full of possibilities, and I am forever on the lookout for new and exciting avenues of exploration.
Playing with Paint
My latest act of random exploration is painting. I keep having these ideas of cool canvases I want to create, but thus far my attempts are not living up to the visions in my head. I will keep painting because I love the act of putting colors together, but I don’t think anyone is going to be beating down my door for a Kelly original!
I also have a couple of other artsy ideas I want to try, but I am finding this beautiful weather is really pushing me to go outside. And while I have always thought it would be cool to slap on a smock and paint plein air, I am well aware I do not have the talent to reproduce reality. So, I will stick to playing with abstracts and mixed media to entertain myself.
The Camera is Calling
And now that the weather is nice, my camera is calling. It’s time to get outside and try to capture this beautiful world through the lens of my Canon.
That being said, I am reminded that I really need to spend a few hours in front of my computer with a Lightroom tutorial! I am shooting RAW images, which means the photos must be edited before I can publish them. And it’s been decades since I used photo-editing software, so I guess I really need to do that before I shoot too many images.
The Big Shadow
In my mind there are few downsides to this time of year. There is, however, one big looming shadow that makes me cringe and want to put my coat back on. That’s right boys and girls, it’s almost bathing suit season. Ugh!
That dreaded day when I must get out the swimsuit and see if it still fits, sags, etc. is fast approaching. Can I say ugh again? And ya’ll, I have been working hard to get ready for our upcoming beach vacation, but it seems I haven’t gained any ground! I have been working with a trainer AND going to a couple of exercise classes every week since the first of December, and I haven’t lost any weight. NOT ONE POUND.
Yes, I know muscle weighs more than fat, and I am definitely stronger, and my pants fit a bit better, but still. I am longing for that flat belly I had up until just a few years ago. And it doesn’t have to be completely flat, just a little less muffin top please!
So, alas, no two-piece suit for me this summer. However, I refuse to let my waistline mar our vacation, or how I feel about myself. One of the things I am learning in this journey of self-exploration is that you do not have to be perfect to feel good about yourself.
And honestly, my weight is in the healthy range (the top end) for someone of my height, so most of the time I feel OK about the way I look. I am not about to start some weird diet or try to starve myself. We eat a lot of lean and green and go easy on the simple carbs, so now I just need to get my body to start burning fat the way it did 10 years ago.
No More Whining!
And getting that whiney moment out of my head cleared up space for me to embrace more positive thoughts, which is one of the things I am learning to do through meditation. What I’ve learned is that if you have a negative thought, or any thought at all while meditating, you are supposed to push it away with your breath. I have a tough time breathing my thoughts away, so I’m exploring some other methods for clearing my mind. Currently I am having success with picturing my thoughts as open tabs on a computer screen, then closing each tab until I have a blank screen. It’s working for meditation purposes and also helps me go to sleep when my thoughts are having a party in my brain when we should all be sleeping.
And speaking of sleeping, it is getting late and I have been rambling a bit, so I bid you a wonderful evening and a blissful sleep tonight. Sweet dreams!